By the time you read this, I'll be gone.
I am writing this column a week ahead of time because I am taking fall break off with my wife and daughter. But that's not why I will be gone.

You see, the Powerball Lottery made it to more than $190 million by Oct. 3.
The newspaper staff sent Phylis Bellamy out to buy lottery tickets the day I left for vacation.
"Make sure you get the winning ticket," I told Phylis before she left. So I am confident I will be a multi-millionaire by the time you read my column.
Staff writer Michael Thomason figured after taxes, we'd each get $17 million after the split. I could make it on that for a while.

I know what you are saying.
"Tommy, you wouldn't be happy with all that money," you tell me.

Well, I'd like to give it a try. If it doesn't make me happy, I'll give it away to charity.
I guess us poor folks always dream of becoming rich.

The other day I read that golfer Tiger Woods has become the first athlete to earn a billion dollars through prize winnings and endorsements. Woods is only 33 years old.
Over the years we've seen athletes, movies stars and others burn through millions of dollars.
Big houses, fancy cars, boats, drugs, strip clubs and messy divorces can go through millions pretty fast.

But spending $1 billion would take some doing. Tiger might even need some help unless he did not sign a good prenuptial agreement.
Before I went on vacation, I decided to give Tiger some help spreading that dough around. He can't take it with you, you know.
So here goes, Tiger.

I went online and found you a 2009 jumbo jet, a 2009 Airbus A 380, for $210 million.
I know you probably have a slew of private jets and what would you need with a passenger plane but remember, we've got to burn $1 billion for you so here's you a jumbo jet.
Now for simple math, I am assuming Tiger's interest earnings and what he's spent up until I took over his finances is about even.

So, Tiger, you have $790 million left.
Geez, what about a couple of more jumbo jets and maybe buying a business or two?
Heck, Tiger, I just can't spend a billion.
I'll try my luck with $17 million.

tommy.millsaps@advocateanddemocrat.com | 337-7101