While I wasn’t blessed with great looks or super smarts or the ability to charm people or a lot of money, I was ... hold on a minute, I need to crank myself back up again.

Okay, while none of the above were gifted to me through accident of birth, one thing I did get was height. While I’ve never thought of 6’2” as being super tall, it way outdoes the American average of 5’9” for men and I’ll take a physical win any way I can.

Unfortunately for all those poor 5’9” guys, things aren’t getting any better. A Centers for Disease Control study says the average height for men over the past decade actually fell slightly while the average height of 5’4” held steady for women.

Guess what didn’t hold steady? Go on, take a wild guess. No, not that, you weirdo! it’s our waistlines. CDC studies only go back to the early 1960s, but whatever age you are now, people that age then were just slightly shorter and weighed 30 pounds less.

In the 1960s, the average man stood 5’8” and weighed 166 pounds. Today he’s 5’9” and 198 pounds. The average woman then was 5’3” and 140 pounds. Today she’s 5’3 ½ (you can round to 5’4” if you want) and she weighs 170.

Some other statistics from the study:

  • In the last decade, the average weight of men rose about 2 pounds, to 198. For women, it rose 6 pounds, to nearly 171.
  • Men have 40-inch waistlines, on average. Women’s waistlines are a little under 39 inches.
  • The average height of black men and white men has been holding about steady, at a little under 5 feet 10.
  • Mexican-American and Asian-American men are roughly 3 inches shorter than whites and blacks, on average. There was a similar height gap in women. In 2016, about 18 percent of the nation’s population was Hispanic, up from about 13 percent in 2000, according to U.S. Census figures. Mexican-Americans account for nearly two-thirds of the Hispanic population.

These numbers are averages and you’ll find a lot of extremes on both ends, especially when it comes to weight. You can walk into any super store and wonder why they even bother to make scales that go below 250. We do still have people who are way below the weight average, but they are mainly famous and sing or act for a living. Down here at our level …

Nobody still has an answer for why we weigh so much more than we used to. You can theorize about fast food, lack of exercise, so many jobs involving eight hours sitting at a desk and so on. But nobody has pinpointed the one “aha!” thing that is making us hate mirrors and reflective windows.

As for the height thing, well, Trumpites somewhere will latch onto this. As you might have gleaned from the above numbers, Mexican-American and Asian-American men are quite a bit shorter than American born men. And when you factor them into the average height, well.

Keep in mind, these numbers and words come from the CDC. I’m 6’2. I don’t care how short the rest of you all are or what’s causing it.

I do wonder about the average waist size thing. Its says the average American male weighs 198 and has a 40 inch waistline. I’m about 20 pounds above that average weight, yet I wear waist size 34 pants. Am I measuring in the wrong area? Are you supposed to measure with it “all hanging out?” Cause I can guarantee that ain’t happening.

And I’m not even going to guess at women’s measurements. They have an average waist line of 39 inches, but if they wear a size 25 pants they’re considered … easy now … pleasingly plump? What are THEY measuring?

There is another thing genetics blessed me with. Sometimes it’s short and sometimes long, though never as long as when I was young. I’m talking about my hair. All my male blood relations, on both sides, either kept their hair until the end or still have it. So, no worries there.

So, hair and height. And my mother’s claim I look like George Clooney. I can live with that.

Don’t know what to do for you, though. How’s the weather down there? You better be good or I’ll step on you!

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