Before we get to our yearly look at the Super Bowl commercials, let’s harken back to last week when we discussed all the weird bets you could make on the game. I’m sure you all read it.
So, I heard, a guy bet that the Rams wouldn’t score anymore than 3 points. That bet, by Vegas odds, was a 400-1 shot. He bet $250. He won $100,000. That’s quite a return on investment.
Now imagine you’re this guy. There’s about a minute or so left to go in the game and the Rams have 3 points! They’re lining up for a field goal in some weird bid to cut the lead to 7 points and then hope to recover an onside kick. There’s no way that’s going to work, but they’re going to ruin your big win with a stupid field goal. And then the kicker misses.
How long would it take you to stop feeling like you’re on top of the world?
Anyway, let’s get to the commercials.
From a personal perspective, the Washington Post one about democracy dying in darkness was my favorite. I used to think traditional media was dying because people no longer wanted to pay for news. But with places like Buzz Feed and Yahoo News, who give everything away, also bleeding money and employees, it appears people just simply don’t want to know what’s going on.
Burger King put out a weird one that showed the long-dead Andy Warhol pulling a Whopper out of a bag and dipping it in ketchup. The tag line was eat like Andy. More than likely most people had no clue who he was.
TurboTax had a “robochild” that really wanted to help a family with taxes. It also wanted to be a real boy. TurboTax may have accidentally showed us the future ruler of humanity.
Something called Mint Mobile used chunky milk as a way to hype its cheap cellphone service. It said chunky milk is not right and neither is high cellphone service. If I remember right, they offered unlimited everything for $25 a month. Either they love losing money or that’s an introductory price and you’ll get a big shock in a few months.
Bumble, which is some kind of online dating service, used tennis star Serena Williams to state that women shouldn’t be afraid to make the first move when it comes to dating. Williams is married and gave birth to her first child last year. Somebody should have pointed this out to Bumble.
WeatherTech, a company that makes stuff to custom fit your car, used its millions of dollars to hawk a ... phone cup holder?
Doritos used its annual super commercial to hype up a new, spicier chip using Chance the Rapper and digging up the Backstreet Boys. Women who were 12 in 1999 were both elated and confused.
Pepsi appeared to be having a crisis of confidence as they used Steve Carrell, Cardi B and Lil Jon to ask if the drink is okay. You’ll be happy to know they decided it is.
Bud Light actually got some chuckles as they showed their current medieval characters trying to find out who had ordered the corn syrup sent to their castle by mistake. Cause, you know, Bud Light doesn’t use corn syrup and that’s important to your average beer drinker.
The Microsoft ad that showed a bunch of physically disabled kids fitting in by playing video games touched a lot of hearts, or so Microsoft said.
Grumpy Harrison Ford was part of an Alexa commercial that showed all the failed ways Amazon had tried to use the device, including one that ordered dog food every time Ford’s dog barked.
And the number one liked commercial, at least according to some website called pennlive.com, was the M&M’s commercial starring Christina Applegate having to deal with the candy in the backseat of her car. I am proud of this because the dream I had when I was 18 that Applegate would one day be my wife still lives, and I like to see her succeed.
I’ll be honest; I wasn’t very interested in the game and soon wandered away, so I either saw very few of these or saw them online. I’m an old school football fan, so the defensive struggle didn’t bother me.
I’m just tired of the Patriots.
But one ad I didn’t see mentioned on pennlive.com was the one where Bud Light mixed their medieval world with “Game of Thrones.” It was actually very well done and got me excited for the final season of the show.
Next year, I’d love to see a commercial about what Tom Brady’s doing after his wife forced him to retire.